Friday 3 June 2016

What I Learned From My Mom's Instagram


Tanner and I had the opportunity to take a few days vacation this week with our girlies.  We headed up to Kentucky Lake and had a wonderful time.  We enjoyed Pontoon boat rides, discovered a secret cove with our “very own beach,” had great family game nights, and even learned a lesson, albeit unwelcomed, about gardener snakes.  My Mom, Dad, and sisters have also been vacationing this week, in Hawaii, in conjunction with some work for my Dad.  We have an on-going Chapman family group text message, and while they have been sending photos of the crystal blue ocean water, the Richards were proud to send our photos of the opaque brown lake water.  Ok, ok, ok . . . I’m not really that jealous.  At the end of the day, I am thankful to be making memories with my girlies, and am thankful they are making memories with theirs. 

I posted a few pictures on Instagram of our time at the lake.  I wanted to post a photo of all of us together, to look back on and remember what family vacations were like when the girls were tiny.  But, the only photos I took of the five of us were on “our secret beach,” and I was in my swimsuit.  I debated with myself as to whether or not I should post a swimsuit pic.  I thought, “I don’t want the world seeing what I try to look past in the mirror everyday.”  The lies started creeping in, “You’re not cute.  You’re too big.”  Heck, I’ve got one life to live . . . and I have one family vacation to document when my girls are 4, 2, and 10 months old.  And, in hitting that wee “publish” button, I felt a little bit like I was sticking it to the man – to the industry that says I should be little, itty bitty, and killin’ it in a florescent pink bikini.


Later that evening, my Mom posted a picture to Instagram from Hawaii.  Perhaps you guys saw it?  First of all, it is pretty hilarious as they are posing with a random beached seal they found in Hawaii (we didn’t discover any of those at Kentucky Lake, and my girls were confused as clearly we, too, were at a beach).  My Mom is in her swimsuit.  I know my Mom well enough – I guarantee she analyzed that photo for a minute, or two, probably more like an entire afternoon, before posting it.  But, do you know what I felt in that moment as a daughter – PRIDE.  Sure, I love how much fun my parents have together and the awe and humor they find in seeing a seal.  But more so than anything, I thought, “More power to ya, Momma C!”  My Mom is cute as can be in that swimsuit and I am proud of her for having the self-confidence to post this particular picture.  Her decision helped encourage me to be at home in the skin God has given me.  These moments are fleeting - the laughter and adventure of today, will be tomorrow’s memories.  I don’t want to be caught up in this little, self-destructive narrative of how bad I think I look in my swimsuit, that I miss the moment.  My girls are only little once, you only see beached seals once . . . so snap the photo.


To all of you who may be dreading swimsuit season – get on out there, smile in those photos, and know that you are the only one who is ever going to walk this earth in the body God gave you. I was with a friend recently who reminded me that there are only two kingdoms at play in this world: the kingdom of light and the kingdom of darkness.  Those voices telling you that you aren’t good enough, they only come from one place - the kingdom of darkness.  And so, if and when those thoughts come as you slip on your bathing suit, or try to get that perfect angle for your swimsuit selfie, join with me in sending those thoughts right back to where they came from!  You, yes you, and I, yes me, are fearfully and wonderfully made.  Let’s believe that together this summer. 



21 comments:

  1. It's funny how we all can think that way about ourselves, but I would have never given a second thought about you or your momma in a bathing suit. I would have just thought how great you guys look and more importantly what great mommas, daughters, and women you are. I'm not nearly as tough on others as I seem to be with myself. Thanks for the encouragement to be comfortable in my own skin.

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  2. Emily this is really beautiful and powerful- I think every women and girl in our culture needs to read this, no matter the body type. By your honesty and seeking truth you are helping so many!

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  4. Thank you, Emily! I never see anything but beautiful in you and your mom. In myself, not so much. So, thank you for your honesty, your wisdom, and reminding me to look beyond what the mirror shows. I do love taking pictures (and we're taking a lot of them on vacation this week, too) and having them as a reminder of these precious moments. The years really do pass so quickly and there are so many more important things to focus on other than our imperfect bodies. So, I will smile a little bigger today in those bathing suit pics and be proud of who God made me to be. Love you, beautiful Emily! Enjoy every little moment with your sweet girlies!

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  5. Yes!!!!! Let's unite and start posting our real selves without shame and show the world and more importantly our young girls that we are great just the way we are! Great blog!

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  6. Yes!!!!! Let's unite and start posting our real selves without shame and show the world and more importantly our young girls that we are great just the way we are! Great blog!

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  7. Emily, you and your mom look beautiful to me and I'd gladly trade either of you, bodies. But I am trying to learn to love myself and not be ashamed of the way I look. Thanks for teaching an old lady that we all have insecurity about the way we look.

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  8. Emily, you and your mom look beautiful to me and I'd gladly trade either of you, bodies. But I am trying to learn to love myself and not be ashamed of the way I look. Thanks for teaching an old lady that we all have insecurity about the way we look.

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  9. Thank you, thank you for this! ♡

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  10. Thank you for your honesty, Emily. My mom passed away last year, and as we poured through old photos, it hit me how few pictures my mom took WITH us. She always felt embarrassed about her body, and hated to see herself in pictures. But to us, she was the most beautiful lady in the world. I cherish the couple of pictures I have of just the two of us. So, my advice to all who read this is to think about how your children will feel when they go looking for those "mom and me" photos.❤️

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    1. SUCH a great point! Not too long ago I pointed out that my mom was the one who was always behind the camera and not in front. Soon after we found out she has breast cancer. They got all the cancer & she's going to be fine PTL but you never know when it's going to be too late. She HATES pictures of herself. She'd better get used to them though.. I'm going to" picture her" til I'm blue n the face! �� I think I'll let her read this blog. Thank you emily! ��

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  11. Great, encouraging post! Women everywhere, whether they have an hour glass figure or are a little thicker around the middle, struggle with the feelings of inadequacy. Don't listen to the father of lies that will tell you you're not good enough, but listen to God the Father of love who says that he loves you and you are a daughter of the King! Thank you for the reminder that when the doubts come in...and they will...to deliberately shift my focus!

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  12. First, glad I saw your Mom's post to 'Like' your page. I am a new follower of your Mom after hearing her on Chris Brown's True Stewardship last month. I won a copy of her book, which is supposed to be autographed. I haven't received it yet but look forward to it!

    Regarding your post. I am one who takes the pictures and am never in them. I try to hide behind others 'just enough' because I despise the way I look in photos. I am overweight and struggling to loose weight. A medication I took for almost 5 years caused weight gain and made me resistant to weight loss. The mirror and camera are not my friends. They reflect the physical image of me and what I and many others may see. However in my minds mirror, I dont see myself as the rolly blob lady with a muffin top and baggy belly. I see just a gal - an average and at times a pretty lady. I think because of that mind-mirror image, I hold myself and overall portray myself differently and that is the person that many may see. My daughter gets very angry when I am self-critical and condemning myself when trying things on or pulling something out to wear. If it doesn't fit or look the way I think it should, I ask her if it's too tight - do I look frump - things like that. My beautiful daughter orders me to stop it and gives her honest opinion. But she always adds "If you're not comfortable dont wear/buy it but I like it/think it looks good.' She doesn't just make the positive comments it because I am her Mom but because she speaks truth; not what people expect to hear. Myself and many that know her say she is the definition of unconditional love.

    Your words reminded me of the same 'Mom Tip" I posted and that your Mom mentioned in her interview with Chris Brown. We need to love and live the season we are in and enjoy it. If not, life will pass by so fast, you will miss out. My loves are 25 and 20 and are my world. We are 3 peas in a pod, stuck tightly together and would walk through fire for each other. Lately they have been laughing at me (and I with them) when we talk about the new superheros, Star Wars, etc movies and characters. They say, without an ounce of malice and resentment, "Why wasn't she this fun when we were growing up?" Sure I played with them and we had fun but I wasn't 'into the game'. They say this with laughter as now they know the 'why'.

    So, even at my age, this serves as a reminder to stop worrying about how I look in a picture and embrace who I am while trying to improve. After all, I earned these scars - some in bad ways and others in the form of blessings.

    Blessings. In Faith,

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  13. First, glad I saw your Mom's post to 'Like' your page. I am a new follower of your Mom after hearing her on Chris Brown's True Stewardship last month. I won a copy of her book, which is supposed to be autographed. I haven't received it yet but look forward to it!

    Regarding your post. I am one who takes the pictures and am never in them. I try to hide behind others 'just enough' because I despise the way I look in photos. I am overweight and struggling to loose weight. A medication I took for almost 5 years caused weight gain and made me resistant to weight loss. The mirror and camera are not my friends. They reflect the physical image of me and what I and many others may see. However in my minds mirror, I dont see myself as the rolly blob lady with a muffin top and baggy belly. I see just a gal - an average and at times a pretty lady. I think because of that mind-mirror image, I hold myself and overall portray myself differently and that is the person that many may see. My daughter gets very angry when I am self-critical and condemning myself when trying things on or pulling something out to wear. If it doesn't fit or look the way I think it should, I ask her if it's too tight - do I look frump - things like that. My beautiful daughter orders me to stop it and gives her honest opinion. But she always adds "If you're not comfortable dont wear/buy it but I like it/think it looks good.' She doesn't just make the positive comments it because I am her Mom but because she speaks truth; not what people expect to hear. Myself and many that know her say she is the definition of unconditional love.

    Your words reminded me of the same 'Mom Tip" I posted and that your Mom mentioned in her interview with Chris Brown. We need to love and live the season we are in and enjoy it. If not, life will pass by so fast, you will miss out. My loves are 25 and 20 and are my world. We are 3 peas in a pod, stuck tightly together and would walk through fire for each other. Lately they have been laughing at me (and I with them) when we talk about the new superheros, Star Wars, etc movies and characters. They say, without an ounce of malice and resentment, "Why wasn't she this fun when we were growing up?" Sure I played with them and we had fun but I wasn't 'into the game'. They say this with laughter as now they know the 'why'.

    So, even at my age, this serves as a reminder to stop worrying about how I look in a picture and embrace who I am while trying to improve. After all, I earned these scars - some in bad ways and others in the form of blessings.

    Blessings. In Faith,

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  14. I really do look terrible In a regular swimsuit now....age 54, two kids, a hysterectomy, cellulite and menopause wreak havoc on a body. I found a really cute swim dress a few weeks ago that hides most of the lumps and bumps. I'm quite comfortable in my own skin at my age, mostly because I know it's not going to change, but I do like to look the best that I can. We have a backyard pool so I'm in my swimsuit a good part of the summer. Gonna rock my new hot pink swim dress and my sassy new haircut until fall!

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  15. Emily, I met you in Sioux City, Ia a few years ago. I think you might know Staci Becker. She lives in Iowa and is a friend. Your parents gave us a grant to adopt our beautiful daughter. She is 11 and from China. At the time, my oldest of three sons was a senior in HS. He was a little hesitant in wanting his parents to adopt. But we are Christians, and we felt moved to do this. After bringing our daughter home, my son, then18, told us that was the best decision of our lives. Anyway, long story but our son, now 27 yrs old, passed away 7 months ago. He was a Veteran and he had severe PTSD. He died of a overdose. Our hearts are broken. But I want to thank you for inspiring us to adopt. We will be sending memorial money to y'all soon. My father also died recently and we will donate in honor of both our son and my Dad. Sorry to write this on you blog, but not sure where else. By the way, you look great!

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  16. Thank you so much for this! I needed to hear it :) Also, you and your mom are absolutely beautiful! :)

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  17. Thank you!!! I hated taking pictures of me unless from the shoulders up. �� I should loose weight for health reasons but not because of what the world days is beautiful. I am the only me and so I take my pictures and I smile for the camera and I am content in who I am in Christ Jesus. BTW, I love both pictures. You are gorgeous.

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  18. Jennifer Bobic6 June 2016 at 18:16

    Emily, you look wonderful - your body gave you three beautiful children - love it for that! If you start feeling this way, you might want to listen to your Dad's oldie but goodie - "Fingerprints of God." As I recall, he wrote that for a young Emily Chapman who was feeling down about herself! I saw you last June when I sang with your Dad at the Kennedy Center and you looked fantastic - and I think you were expecting number three then!

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  19. I NEEDED this inspiration today...I might have missed the water bucket fight and the squeals of all our kiddos!!!
    THANK YOU!!!

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  20. Emily,

    You and your sweet mother have always inspired me. I love your mom's book where she was very open and honest about her life story. The past four years has been extremely difficult for me and I have gained about 35 pounds. I have a couple of blogs, recipesforourdailybread and ouramericantravels. The picture of me is four years old. I do not look anything like that picture. I HATE having my picture taken. I have a nice camera and use it to hide behind by taking all the pictures. It has gotten so bad I do not even own a swim suit. I did see this picture of your mom. I though to myself that she has been though so much and can get in a picture with a swim suit on certainly I can at least get in a picture with my clothes on. We are headed on a dream vacation to Alaska. In fact, it is with Max Lucado and your sweet parents. I am promising you to try to get in a couple of the pictures. I will even try to post a picture on social media, MAYBE. You are so wise beyond your years. Thank you for encouraging me! You not only have a remarkable mom but you are truly a remarkable mom. I love reading your posts.
    Many many blessings to you and your sweet family!
    Diane

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